Wednesday, May 31, 2006

who knew?

apparently it's possible to get a blister that is so bad that you have to take advil for it. oh, and paint on local anasthetic. and curl up in a little ball and whimper while praying for sleep.

today i am wearing flip flops...

Tuesday, May 30, 2006


so drunk, yet such a good night. why do these two things so often go together?

hari rocks.

that's all.

oh wait, no it's not, my poor mother was awaken at 6:30am her time by her drunken daughter, surely she gets big points for that...

Monday, May 29, 2006


i just heard on the radio that the TTC (local transit) isn't running today because of an impromtu strike.

thank god i heard it on the radio, otherwise i'd be waiting at that bloody stop for eons.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

well, didja eva?

ever watched a movie that is not particularily good, but still manages to hit all your emotional hot spots? i figure my watching of sisterhood of the traveling pants tonight was like the emotional version of pressure point massage.

well. you know. except for the 'it feels better after' part.

the (long) raccoon story

well my friends, it turns out that the raccoon story is much longer than i thought it was going to be.

it started monday night when a baby raccoon managed to fall down our wall.

it was 11:30 at night and we could hear the wee thing crying and crying, but didn't know what to do. we thought of cutting it out of the wall, but weren't sure what to do once we had freed the critter, so waiting would be the name of the game. after a night of fitfull to non-existant sleep i rejoiced at the fact that it was morning and i could call someone to find out what to do. the humane society reccommended a specific raccoon extraction company and we promptly called them.

the woman i spoke with said all they would have time to do that day was take the baby out of the wall and leave it near the entry the raccoons are using to the attic so that the mum could find it. i mentioned that we were going to do that but didn't know what to do specifically, i asked if there was any reason we couldn't do it ourselves and she said not at all and then proceeded to give us instructions on how to go about it safely. she also assured us that this was a fluke, that before raccoons can walk, but have become mobile through squirming, they can sometimes squirm to places they aren't supposed to be.

so, a hole was cut, insulation pulled out, and a tiny terrified thing was pulled out of the wall and put into a towel-lined box. i held the box on my lap while john went to get tools to open the attic access and while i wasn't looking the little critter reached up, grabbed my shirt and pulled himself up on me and snuggled into my arm (i had noticed by this point). after he'd snuggled for a bit he started looking for something to nurse on. apparently my neck was the best option. also, apparently the side of my neck is very ticklish...

john put him up in the attic. we both rushed away, late to work.

that night i went out for dinner with my friend caroline, it was wonderful. we talked for ages and ages. she was walking partway home when i got a call from john. he asked me how late i thought the pet store was open. this was not a good sign. he then said that he hadn't noticed, but our neighbour (in the ajoining house) had called him asking if he knew what "that sound" was. he did. the little bugger had fallen down a different wall. the ajoining wall. so much for "don't worry, it won't happen again".

we tried for pet stores before getting the little guy out, but they were all closed, the best we could do was wiskis cat milk and a baby medicine dropper. so, we were set, now for the relatively easy task of cutting a hole in the wall and extracting him.

four holes in our house and one in our neighbour's later we were able to pull the little guy out, who had fallen hard enough to get wedged between a pipe and a stud. he was cold, shivering, and crying. i held on to him and he snuggled in immediately. john, the brilliant fellow that he is, suggested we heat a magic bag for him. so, he was cradled against my chest, in a magic bag. he started to calm down. feeding him was a tad difficult though, he couldn't get the hang of the eyedropper thingy.

by about 1:30am we had managed to get a bit of food in him and he was ready to sleep. we put him back in the attic, but in a box this time, with the sides high enough that he couldn't climb out, but low enough that his mum could reach over the edge and scoop him up.

we fell into bed exhausted for another night of fitfull sleeping and worrying about the little guy.

we both talked thinking we'd heard mama raccoon sounds that night and went to work hopeful that our little guy had made it home finally. we were wrong.

john checked to make sure the box was empty, it wasn't. so, john went to the pet food store, bought some kitten forumula and a feeding bottle. we warmed up some milk, fed the little guy because he was starving (he had a weird thing where he'd drink from the bottle for a bit, but then he'd need to nurse on me, then bottle, then me, then bottle, then me, weird, but cute) and put him back in the attic. we decided he'd be there for 24 hours and if his mum didn't come we'd have to take him to the humane society.

24 hours later we checked (it's now friday for those of you keeping track) and a little hungry guy was still there. so, we fed him again, he demanded a fair bit of snuggling time and protested everytime i laid him in his little bed, even though the magic bag was there to provide warmth, and then we took him to the humane society.

it was a bloody exhausting week. and it was bloody hard to take him to the humane society. and yes, i miss him. i imagine they wouldn't take kindly to me asking if i could come visit him at the humane society, wouldn't do much in the 'trying to make them independant from humans' thing.

throughout the week people asked if we had named him yet. i always responded with horror, saying no, absolutely not! the horror was only at the fact that i knew he was going to be hard enough to part with as it was, naming him would only make it worse.

but we did name him. we named him on our way home from dropping him off at the humane society.

good luck rocky, we'll miss you.

*Edit* (By John) here he is:

In an uncharacteristicly immobile moment.

And with bits of dinner around his mouth.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

a teaser

no time to write just now, but if i find time today i will write about either:

a) rescuing a week-old baby raccoon that was the most adorable thing you've ever seen, even if it was convinced that if it looked hard enough it would find a milk producing nipple on my body (oh, who am i kidding, that's part of what made it so cute, who can resist a nursing baby animal?)

b) the amazing time i had last night with my friend caroline, with discussions that ranged from finding a way to be comfortable in your own skin, the pros and cons of a relationship when it comes to energy, to the frustration and difficulty of lables and being defined by one's sexuality.

either one will be good, you know, if i find time to write...

just to whet your appetite:

when we first pulled the squirming mass from the wall we put it in a towel lined box which i held on my lap.

i'm assuming he was following the warmth when he climbed up from the box and immediately snuggled in...

the dot of white on my hand is a drop of cream because he was crying so much from hunger i was trying desperately to feed him. apparently a drop of 'light cream' on your finger doesn't cut it for a nursing baby...

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

tumoury thingy update

the first update is that i have decided to refer to my tumour as a 'tumoury thingy' since the addition of the 'y' sounds makes it sound less intimidating to me.

the second update is that i have been to the specialist, repeated the horrible ultrasound (although, this time only horrible because it's a horrible ultrasound, not horrible because the people were horrible, i went somewhere else this time).

the outcome is that the tumoury thingy has not increased in size at all (good news indeed) and that i have a follow up appointment with the specialist on june 1st to figure out when i'm going to have surgery.

so, there you go. follow up appointment, and an idea of when the surgery will be, in two weeks.

will wonders never cease

hey, guess what i learned yesterday...

i learned that the movie RV doesn't suck.

i know, i was stunned too!

i told my little sister (through big brother's big sister's, don't worry, i haven't suddenly grown and extra sibling along the way) she could choose the movie. she chose RV. i gritted my theeth and contorted my lips into something vaguely resembing a smile and said "okay, great".

but i was very plesantly surprised. i even laughed out loud.

i'm not saying rush out and spend $15 on it or whatever it is these days, but when it comes out on video it really is worth renting if you're just looking for a cheesy brainless flick.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

those sacred moments between friends

today i recieved an email from a friend that said:
You know those days when you are so horny you feel like you are going to die. I'm having one.
yes. Yes. YES. GOD YES!!!

I mean, er, uh, hmmm. i'm not sure. maybe i've felt something like that...

yeah, no, who am i kidding, back to previous answer of yes. Yes. YES. GOD YES!!!

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Many thanks...

i just wanted to post something to say thank you so much for your advice on whether or not a yeast infection could be in the crotch but not the vagina.

based on said advice i treated it as a yeast infection and am happy to report that i no longer have the desire to rip out my crotch.


and of course, i'm still having amazing multi-orgasmic fat sex with my (apparently, according to a random commenter) gay husband.

just wanted to make sure every was kept in the loop. ;)

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

It's my first time... (Please be gentle)

John here...

I'm going to take Dickeybird's invitation (no, I won't wait for Mainja's) to guest blog, and post a little story of what happened to me on the way home today.

I won't tell you about the day I had at work, nor will I bore you with any long drawn out exposition on the lack of sleep I've had lately. Suffice to say that I was a little spaced out.

I was listening to a song from the (excellent by the way) new Red Hot Chili Peppers' album, sheltered from the rain by my umbrella, gazing with bemusement at the collection of hobos, coked out whores and general scum that inhabit our neighbourhood while waiting for the light to turn so I could cross the street. I don't know how much time had passed, but it was at least as long as it took for 'Dani California' to play out and for a couple of non-memorable commercials and inane DJ chatter to happen before I realised that I had been standing at the light for an awfully long time. In fact, as I actually looked at the crossing light for the first time, I discovered that there were no pedestrian signals at all, that the traffic lights were just flashing red, and I had been standing on the corner in the rain for at least five minutes waiting for a walk signal that wouldn't come until some people came and repaired the signalling system.

I decided not to wait for them any more, and ignoring the strange looks from the aforementioned hobos, whores, and scum, went home.

a question i don't have time to research...

insanely busy. can't post. can't read blogs. can't do internet research. can't write full sentences...

okay folks, here's the question (it's gory, just so you're forewarned):

is it possible to have a yeast infection that is not actually in your vagina, that doesn't result in a discharge at all, but results in your crotch feeling just like when you have a 'normal' yeast infection, minus the feeling of wanting to rip out your vagina (but, you know, crotch ripping, still absolutely in play.)

if you know, or feel like doing web research, i'd be happy to find out.

okay, i'm going to go back to bed now and try really hard not to scratch...

Monday, May 15, 2006

bloggy break with hal johnson and joanne mcleod

okay, that's false advertising, hal and joanne will not be joining me in this entry.

i think the time has come for me to take a brief break from blogging. nothing drastic, maybe just this week, we'll see.

there is nothing dastardly going on, i'm just feeling overwhelmed and busy, for example, i barely have time to breath at work and i have plans every night this week. like i said, no big deal, just need a break.

be well all...

Thursday, May 11, 2006


today as i walked out the door to go to work i heard someone weeping.

today as i walked out the door to go to work i noticed people doing work on the street.

today as i walked out the door to go to work i was mightily confused.

i was confused first because i could not tell if the rhythmic sounds i was hearing really were sobs, or if i was just misidentifying something else.

but more than that i was confused when i realised they were sobs, and noticed them coming from my neighbour. not because i can't imagine him crying, but because he was crying while sitting on his front stoop, while three or four men did some kind of repair work on the street in front of him.

i scanned the scene frantically searching to see what was making him cry, worried that perhaps the crew was there as a result of something bad (someone broken one of his windows a while ago, i wondered if it had something to do with that) but as far as i could tell they were just filling a pothole. nothing, absolutely nothing registered as wrong in the picture as i scanned the scene, nothing except my neighbour on his stoop crying. my chest was tight and i was having a hard time swallowing. i was scared. scared that something bad may have happened in my neighbourhood, and also scared that something bad had happend to my eccentric shy, but perfectly nice, next door neighbour.

strangely though, as soon as jim saw me he got up, continued sobbing loudly and went back into his house.

i say strangely only because he didn't seem to have a problem with the men working on the street seeing him cry (and for the record, when he went inside they weren't very nice, they started making fun of his yard and stuff while he could very well have been in earshot. don't get me wrong, i make fun of his yard too, and you would too if you saw it, but i don't do it when he could hear me, and i sure as hell don't do it when he's just been sitting there crying so likely is a bit delicate. i must say i much more expected something like 'geeze, i hope he's okay', not 'oh my god, can you imagine living with this on your street'). it seems strange to me that he would be fine with three or four folks seeing him cry, but that as soon as he saw me he felt a need to leave.

i have been worried about him all day. but i don't talk to him, he's sooo shy, he sometimes talks to john, but never me. and considering he left when he saw me, i am assuming that he doesn't want me to acknowledge it at all, that he's more comfortable with me not knowing. i just feel like if i talk to him it will make it worse.

i don't know the point of this, i just have been tight chested all day thinking about some man i barely know and likely wouldn't even recognize if he wasn't standing in front of his house, so i wanted to get it down on 'paper' to see if that helped.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006


i'm just pasting wholesale from an email kate sent me because really, she said it all...

sexy and educational! (uh, not at work though...)
yay for boobies!!!

Monday, May 08, 2006

didja ever notice?

isn't it funny how you have to be in a specific brain space to blog about anything remotely interesting?

i'm not in that space right now.

i want to be. i think about how i'd like to write engaging things in this space, but all i can come up with is dulldrums of day to day life.

the funny thing is that i hate these times, but i don't seem willing to take time to do fix it. don't know what that is. there are stories i could tell, there are random thoughts i could write, there are even irrelevant commentaries on current events that i could make.

but for some reason i'm blocked. the same way i get blocked when i have too much to do. you know, you have a 20 page essay due in three days and you can't bring yourself to write even one sentence, or one that is much more common for me these days (what with finishing school 7 years ago...), i stand looking at the chotic mess that is the office and i want to clean it but i'm overwhelmed, i'm frozen, i can't move, i can't begin, i can't start, i'm just overwhelmed.

for some reason that's what blogging feels like right now. i want to do it but i can't bring myself to do it.

weird eh?

Sunday, May 07, 2006

yay for 12 years!

well folks, today is the day. john and my 12th anniversary.

a dozen years together. who'd a thunk it?

Thursday, May 04, 2006

smooth as silk

sunday is john and my silk anniversary.

you'd think that would be the easiest anniversary to buy for a guy. beautiful silk tie. ta da!

but wait!

john doesn't wear ties.

so now i'm thinking of just making him a smoothy on sunday morning out of silken tofu...

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

a modest proposal, take two...

i'm sure you'll all be surprised at this particular sound-byte:

Asked about his time with Harper at the National Citizens Coalition, Nicholls said: "I worked with Stephen Harper for five years and never once did he in that time eat a baby."
i mean, the scrolling message on the train said he ate babies, so surely he has eaten babies, but no, imagine my surprise to find out that was not the case...

tip o' the hat to john on this one for sending this to me as "a nominee for quote of the day".

sunny days, sweepin' the clouds away...

it's going to be 25 today. 25! and sunny. don't forget the sunny. god i love the sun.

yay sun!

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

early bird gets the worm...

good god! apparently all the early bird tickets to hillside sold out in two hours (tip o' the hat to kate for pointing this out and depressing me...), and now all the advance weekend passes are gone too. the tickets went on sale on monday may 1st.

i can't imagine the regular weekend passes are going to last too long either. of course, i have no room on a credit card right now, so couldn't buy them even if i wanted too...

the aforementioned amazing kate ordered me two tickets and put them on her credit card and i can pay her through an email money transfer. god i love friends and technology, it's a good combination.

no work for me today... (aka food poisoning is fun!)

i'm working on the assumption that if you shit yourself while getting ready for work, that is god* telling you to stay home.

i'm also working on the theory that the fact that it happened while i was gathering up my stuff and about to walk out the door to go to work, instead of say, while i was waiting for the street car, is as an indication of god's* infinite love.

*or, at least, i would be, if i were a god kind of person...


brando's post from last night made me snort.

because it seems like the kind of thing one does when refering people somewhere else, i will give you a tiny snippet:

6:40 AM Thoughts
In short, I see only that which I covet, and as I know, to covet is to sin, and unlike to grope, it is a mortal sin, and not a class C misdemeanor.

Oddly enough, to covet is not punishable by any mortal laws.

go forth my friends and read, i particularily like the part about improvisation...

Monday, May 01, 2006


has anyone else noticed that allergy stuff is INSANE right now?

i'm spending my days sniffling and snorffling. soooo attractive.

of course it's gorgeous outside, so who am i to complain?

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