Friday, January 25, 2008

Today I had a shower...

Since I seem to be using this blog to somewhat chronical my little achievements, I thought perhaps today I should tell you I had a shower, all by my lonesome.

I know, doesn't sound like much (other than a relief to those who must be near me), but the truth is, this is one counts as an achievement in depressed-world. I didn't wait until I couldn't stand it anymore, I didn't just wash my hair and hope no one would notice, I actually stepped into the shower and let the water rain down upon me.

Depression is a strange beast. I know I've said it many times before, and no doubt I'll say it many times again, but, well, it's true, it's a strange beast.

Sometimes I feel a bit like I'm under house arrest, only instead of a metal bracelet around my ankle I have anxiety and depression to keep me inside.

It's hard to describe, because you would think that you would have free will and be able to say 'fuck you depression, fuck you anxiety' but nope, no free will.

Yesterday I got in the car to go buy yarn (I've taught myself to knit, only one standard stitch, and I'm not doing anything fancy, but it passes the time). Seems simple enough, right? Leave house. Get in car. Drive to store. Park car. Go in store. Find yarn. Pay for yarn. Get in car. Drive home.

Only what actually happened was: Leave house. Get in car. Drive... around the block. Park car. Go back into house.

Good times.

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