random stuff

Okay, back to not sleeping, so my brain is a bit fuzzy.

I've integrated some people back into my life. Hung out with my mum yesterday, hanging out with my dad today.

Who knows, maybe next week I'll be up to seeing people I'm not related to.

I do feel like I will get through this. I mean, I'm not as convinced as I'd like that it won't be like this forever, but I am no longer completely emotionally convinced it will be like this forever.

The doctor intimated that I might be off work for six weeks. That terrifies me. I was thinking two. The problem is going back too soon can set you back. I get the sense that she wants to wait until we *really* know about the meds, which is 4-6 weeks.

Maybe in there I'll start feeling human enough to find a way to enjoy that time away and recharge and refresh.

We'll see. Right now it feels like I'm on the worst vacation ever, filled with anxiety and the inability to leave the house. Maybe by the last week it will truly feel like a week off, an actual break, as opposed to the thing I needed to do to survive...