A promise that will help with the recovery of my depression...

One thing that I have a tendancy to do when I'm depressed is to hibernate. Lock myself in the house, never leave. Not bother with getting dressed or showered or anything. Never leaving the house.

So, I'm making a committment that for as long as I am staying home from work because of my depression (my current guess is this week and next) I am going to leave the house, actually leave, not just step outside, leave, at least once a day.

Going out is hard, and sometimes there is a price to pay. Yesterday I went out for three hours and pretended to be normal. That used up all my energy and so I came home and cried for three hours. But the truth is, it's worse if I don't go out. It's worse because I end up in a cycle of beating myself up, and I detach myself even more from the rest of the world. So, even if it's just to go have breakfast or a coffee, I'm going to get out of the house at least once a day.

Today I took myself to this amazing water spa place that I've been meaning to try for ever. It's only $35 on Tuesdays, so it seemed pefect. Basically you languish in a dead sea salt water pool, and a green tea pool, while sipping delicious smoothie type drinks, and occassionally slipping into the eucalyptus infused steam room or the sauna. Honestly, the place is worth it for the showers alone. they are AMAZING. They're the sunflower head rain showers, but like nothing I've ever experienced before. And you don't have to bring a thing. They supply divine body wash, shampoo, conditioner, a robe, flip flops, towel, body cream, face cream, and so on and so on. You literally could go there on a whim. It's a woman's only place. Half the people wear bathing suits, the other half doesn't. It was worth every penny. Oh, in case you're a woman in Toronto and you want to check it out you can find it at Body Blitz.

It was bloody hard getting there, but I'm glad I went. I actually almost forgot I was depressed for a bit there. I laughed with the other women as we tried to will ourselves into the cold dunking pool. I didn't spend the time beating myself up, just observing everything around me.

I think soon I'm going to have to start seeing people, I mean, people I know, spending time with people. Just introduce them slowly back into my life. ;)

Oh, and I haven't cried once today. It's almost 5:30 and I haven't cried once. It's amazing. Damn near unheard of these days.