Sunday, February 11, 2007

A post my mum may wish to pretend not to read...

This post involves my sex toys, so my mother may wish to click on a different blog at this point. Or not. Whatever, I don’t actually mind either way.

That was fair warning, right?

So now, here is my tale (not a tale of tail, I promise…)

John and I were at the new house this weekend (yay, new house!), our cleaning guy came in while we were gone (yay, cleaning guy!). It was lovely to come home to a nice clean house.

I wandered upstairs and he had left me a little note saying that he’s put my lotions (I have eczema and stupidly dry skin all over, so I have a cornucopia of lotions in my room) in the cupboard they were sitting on top of. I have them on top for easy access, but oh well, no harm no foul. It was worth a try. Although I did note that for him to put the lotions in the cupboard he had to pull all my erotica books out of said cupboard and pile them where the lotions were (personally I’m not sure why this would look better, books are tidier than lots of little bottles?), which was kind of amusing.

So, I switched it back and in doing so had something I wanted to put in the drawer of my bedside table (do we see where this is going?). I opened the drawer and squealed with surprise and immediately started giggling a lot.

My cleaning guy organized my sex toy drawer.

It’s not just sex toys in there, it’s also face cream, lip balm, that kind of thing. It’s kind of random crap drawer.

Now the random crap drawer is organized. The sex toys are all in one corner (conveniently the corner closest to my bed for easy access), the skin products in another corner, condoms in another and so on. I must say that it is laid out (har! har! har!) in a way that speaks optimistically of my sex life where reaching for lube and sex toys would happen more frequently than reaching for face cream and chap stick. It’s not. I put on chapstick *twice* a night…

Anyway, I can imagine that some people would be horrified but I’m not upset by this. I find it hilarious. I also suspect that if our cleaning dude didn’t know me reasonably well (we’re usually here when he comes, and we’ve had a few meals together etc) that he wouldn’t do it, I suspect he knew it wouldn’t bother me. But still, I can’t imagine if I was someone’s cleaning person (or hell, best friend helping them clean their apartment) and I opened their sex toy drawer that I would think “gee, I bet they would really like me to organized this for them, it would probably improve their playtime because things would be more accessible…”

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