Tuesday, October 31, 2006

wishing for poignancy

i was talking to a friend about the evolution of my blog.

i'm not very excited by the place where my blog is these days.

these days my blog has turned into little more than a mass email to friends. which is kind of exciting on one hand, because it means that i have developed a group of friends based on my blog. i love that. i love the communities that develop around insights into a stranger's life.

for instance, i feel like i have something invested in knotty's life, even though he lives far away from me, i've never talked to him in real life, i have in fact never even exchanged an email with him. or with louise, who also lives a bazillion miles away, but who i have reveled in watching over the years.

i also love that through my blog i made a wonderful real life friend in dickey, so much so that i had the privledge of attending his wonderful wedding in the summer.

and the list goes on and on with people that i feel somehow close to simply because of my blog and theirs.

but i also feel that my blog has suffered in the process. i feel like it's become a dull piece, only interesting to those who know me already (virtually or in real life).

i don't know, i mean, that's not a problem. blogs are many things to many people. there is a blog for everything. and frankly, it's not like i have some niche market to appeal to. but still, i feel like one of the things that has really suffered as my life has become so busy is my blog. and lets be clear, when i say life, i don't mean something interesting like checking out new bands every week, i mean work. work work work and more work.

a long time ago torn said that i should write every day, even if i didn't have anything to say. i think it's time i took that advice to heart.

it's kind of like when i started journaling as part of therapy lo these many years ago, and the advice my therapist gave me was that i should commit to writing for 15 minutes a day, and if i didn't know what to write i should write "i don't know what to write" over and over again until something came to me.

so, we'll see how long this lasts, but i think i'm going to try to make a commitment to write a blog post every day, even if the post is only one sentence long.

i guess this is all part of my 'i'm almost back' phase.

the truth is i get a lot out of blogging. i get a lot out of the comments. i get a lot out of the connections with people. but i also get a lot from just the pure fact of writing.

so bare with me as i do some work to rediscover myself. who knows, it might be 6 days of boring shit, but there might be something worth while every once in a while.

and here is the first of the promised weekly pictures. we're looking at buying a school house as a 'cottage' type vacation home, this is a picture i took while looking at one of those spaces this weekend.

okay, i promise there was a picture to go here, but blogger is not cooperating with me right now...

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