how easily we forgot

i seem to have forgotten how to live my life.

i haven't done social stuff in eons.

i haven't read a book in ages.

i haven't gone to a play in yonks (apparently in my world yonks in terms of theatre is about 3 weeks...)

i haven't taken pictures in forever.

i haven't read a book in an eternity.

i have been so absorbed in work lately that the rest of my life quietly slipped away and i didn't even notice. i'm astounded at how easily it happened.

the problem is i'm still exhausted, still recovering. so it's hard to decide whether i should 'take some time off' (read: go straight home from work and sleep) for a week or two and then leap into social, or if i should just leap into social.

unfortunately, i apparently can't do anything in half measures, so i'm unlikely to plan just one social thing. once i start being social i'm going to want to see everyone, all the people that i haven't talked to in a blue moon.

perhaps i will build a schedule where i attempt to do things in half measures. for instance, tomorrow i will see theatre, not social because i'm volunteering (well, social, but with people i don't know) but still, a step towards my old life, the one i liked so much. then maybe i wil add into this schedule something social on saturday night, i guess i should start working on that one soon...

i guess what this post and my last post are both saying is that i need to start being deliberate in my life again. i got swept away in the current of insanity that was busy work and life and forgot how to live life the way i wanted to, without even noticing.

time to bring back that deliberate approach...