so little time

so much to write about, so little time.

i wish the blog posts i compose in my head as i'm falling asleep could somehow magically transpose themselves onto my blog without me having to work at remembering them, and find time to type them out.

what i want to write about today (but don't really have time for) is romance. romantic notions. the romantic nature of anticipation.

i was watching the wedding date this morning (it's okay, kind of pretty woman only with a guy prostitue not a woman, and of course, less sex between them because a woman would never hire a man for sex, no no no, and somehow in this version it's still the man who does the rescuing, so these aren't stories about escape from prostitution but rather stories of men rescuing women. but, it's better than pretty woman, not really much less offensive but somehow more fun, and there is an amazing scene which i'm about to refer to) and if you've seen it you'll know what i mean.

there is this scene where she asks him to show her what he does. he pushes her back into the car, he tells her to close her eyes, then tells her to relax, he's not going to kiss her. he then proceeds to whisper things to her while being millimeters away from body parts, he whispers to her mouth, her nose, her neck, her ear and so on. it was one of the sexiest things i have seen in a long long time.

i found myself longing for that. but i don't know what that is. i think it's the anticipation. the unknown of whether the kiss is going to come to fruition. and the, well, just the electricity of being that close but not doing anything.

and the not doing anything is key. i mean, i imagine it would be better if it lead to doing something, but the not doing anything is part of it. the tension of barely touching, but barely touching in strategic places, that can be one of the most erotic things in the world. i was going to go on, but i just realised i'm at work and, well, that's just not appropriate.

anyway, the things is, when john and i have sex it is wonderful, i mean, really really good. multiply good.

but it's different. it's not hightened like that. after 12 years i guess it's become a bit profunctory. so i guess i'm saying i want someone to push me against a car and whisper things to me (and kiss the back of my neck, i swoon for back of neck kissing)... any volunteers? *eyeroll*