Monday, July 24, 2006

i'm torn

i'm in a strange space. i can't seem to identify what i want. it's actually not uncommon for me, and it pretty much always is annoying on some level, but today it is very acute.

i am attributing this right now mostly to the fact that my period should be starting any day now.

so, right now i'm sitting at work, doing no work, and debating. debating about what i want to do after work.

part of me wants to snaggle someone to go out for a pint with, or maybe invite someone over for a game of scrabble.

part of me reminds myself that i have laundry and grocery shopping to do.

part of me wants to just go home and sleep.

the draw of the sleep is incredibly strong. i wouldn't be surprised if that's what i end up doing.

i do know that if i can find the energy for it then shopping and laundry will make me feel better. there is something about not getting the day to day things that sometimes make me feel even worse. plus it's all part of the unable to live in the moment. with the laundry and groceries hanging over me i am fraught with guilt and not doing these things that i *should* be doing.

plus there is always the bonus of clean clothes to wear and yummy fresh food to eat.

we'll see. i have my suspicions that i'll end up crashed in bed with a book...

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