great expectations

i find it fascinating the way people live up to expectations. i was having a big philosophical conversation with my roommate about it on tuesday night (you know, the kind fueled by fabulous weather, sitting on the balcony and sipping champagne) around issues of trust. i have found that i tend to expect to trust people and that people generally live up to expectations. basically it was a discussion around the self-fulfilling prophecy aspect of expectations.

then, just for fun, apparently i decided to demonstrate this theory in action last night. only this time, i was the one subject to expectations, and apparently, uncharacteristically living up to them.

last night i was out with bunch of people, none of whom i had met before. when we were leaving one of them asked if anyone needed a ride, i said i would be much obliged. (don't worry, these are friends of friends, many connections, blah blah blah, i wasn't just getting into a car with some crazy stranger). so, there were three of us in the car, all was well. those who know me know that i'm pretty good with new people. i generally stay relaxed and me and it's no big deal.

but it was brutally obvious that he expected me to feel awkward, so i did.

this was no malicious expectation, the expectation became clear through his actions, his incessant actions of reassurance. he was uber careful when he asked me questions, for instance he asked me how i knew a common friend of ours david and then quickly added "unless it's something you don't want to talk about". the fact that the whole way home he was treating me with kid gloves made me suddenly feel like i needed to be treated with kid gloves.

when i got out of the car i knocked over a stuffed bunny rabbit (his daughter's toys were in the back seat with me) and i said "oops, runaway rabbit" and he said in a very reassuring tone "that's okay" as i picked it up and put it back on the seat, and until he'd said those words it never occurred to me that it wasn't okay. as i closed the door i realised the seatbelt was in the door so i opened it up again and put it in and he again said in an even more sympathetic and reassuring voice 'that's okay'.

by the time i got to the front door and was unlocking it i was a bundle of nerves. i was gittery, my heart was racing, i was blushing, i was flustered.

all because i was expected to be flustered, and apparently, i have no self-control, and i lived up to his expectations.