he's so dreamy...

dreams.

sometimes they're bloody intense.

i know some people who don't remember their dreams. i do. i remember a lot of them, certainly not all of them, and not always for more than an hour after i wake up, but i do remember them. sometimes it's not a detailed memory, sometimes it's a sense, a feeling, or a snapshot where one piece is clear but the rest is blurry. i have on more than one occassion said to john "i just had a really terrible dream" and he would say something consoling and ask me what it was about and i would shrug and say "i don't know, but it was bad".

dreams are always a facinating thing for me. one of the most facinating is the fact that sometimes it is so intense, so real, that i doubt myself, i start to think it was an actual experience. in that moment where i can't decide where it was a dream or an actual memory i always have to laugh at myself just a little, okay, well, sometimes quite a bit.

a couple weeks ago i had a dream about my friend jeff. it was a *ahem* 'steamy' dream. you know, steamy? *nudge nudge wink wink*

oh okay, fine, i'll spell it out. i dreamt that we had lots and lots of hot hot sex. very good hot sex i might add (i feel this is necessary since there is a reasonable chance jeff will be read this, and i feel it is always important to build up the esteem of your dear valued friends, even if it is in a dream world...).

the funny part of the dream (be forewarned, this gets convoluted) is that in the dream i knew i was dreaming, but i though i was dreaming about something that had actually happened. i was dreaming, i knew i was dreaming, but as part of the dream there was a very real feeling memory that i assumed was not dream-based, and the memory was of previous hot sex with jeff. i remember thinking something along the lines of 'boy, it's nice i get to re-live this hot sex that i had in real life in this dream i'm having now'.

the feeling and memory were so intense that when i woke up i sat for quite some time thinking "have i had sex with jeff?" for about the first hour i honestly wasn't sure, i didn't think i had, but i wouldn't have bet any money on it either. by the end of the day i was quite certain that no, no i had not slept with jeff, that was just some strange part of the dream.

i came very close to sending him an email asking if we'd slept together, he assures me that had i done so he would have replied with something to the effect of "yes, of course we did, and it was beautiful, are you saying you don't remember?!?!?!"

ahh... dreams.