betrayal

there are times when i feel like my body is betraying me.

i do actually know that these times when i feel it is betraying me, it is in fact acting in a certain way in order preserve me, but i'm not a long term thinker.

let me explain...

my body will function reasonably well and carry me along, to a point. if i am, for instance, working too much, being too stressed, not sleeping enough etc etc etc... well, it will hold me up, keep me walking drone-like from meeting to meeting, until it has had enough.

it then begins screaming at me that i need to get some sleep, that i need to take a breath, that i need to take it easy. i promtly ignore said screaming and continue on my frantic way.

then one of two things happens... either i don't stop in time and my body crashes on me, making me too sick to function. or, i stop on my own and as i try to get back into a 'normal' pattern my body slams into 'recovery' mode, which means lots of (unproductive-feeling) sleep, and the occasional blip it can't take care of, like, well, as a random example, an oncoming ear infection.

basically my body does whatever it can to keep me horizontal until it's done with me.

which mean, it is not particularily unusual for me to get sick during my vacation, which is what feels like betrayal. my body should respect that i have finally taken some time and let me enjoy it, but no, no no no, it lives by it's own selfish rules.

which is, well, sucky.

the fun thing is that my mum's body reacts in much the same way.

mum and i are both on vacation this week.

as you can imagine this is a fun-filled house to be in right now. ;)