unexpected reactions

i am waiting for the bus, happily reading my book (that my mum sent to me, out of the blue, how fun are out of the blue presents!) when along comes a smart young fellow (read: homeless guy probably in his 30s who is, except for the facial hair and dirt, quite attractive).

now, i do not pay this fellow particular heed, as is my wont in these situations. although i feel rude when i don't look up or make eye contact or respond, i also don't have the energy to deal with things if they become, for lack of a better word, heated. so, i find avoidence the best course of action for me.

this morning is no different. the fellow approaches, i keep my eyes to my book. the follow walks toward me, i keep my eyes to my book. the fellow walks past me leaving very little space between us, i keep my eyes to my book. in fact, i only see him briefly when i notice him coming towards the i immediately feign intense interest in my book (no that it isn't interesting, but i had been interested in the comings and goings mere seconds earlier).

but, all this walking isn't all that is happening. he is also talking.

while he looks me up and down and his eyes burn into me, he says "oohhh yeah, that's it, you *are* delicious"

honestly, these words have little effect on me. i've heard them before, and i always imagine there is a tone of mocking in them and rarely imagine they are what the cat caller means (yeah yeah, i know, but still...). this is nothing new to me. i keep my eyes to my book.

as he is about to pass me, eyes still locked onto me he, for lack of a better word, moans.

it is a visceral sound. a sound of pleasure. a sound that cannot be faked. typing the letter 'm' in succession doesn't do it justice, but it is the best i can do in blog format, he makes a sound that comes from his chest, maybe even his belly "mmmmmmmmmm". the sound is pure pleasure.

an unexpected shock of pleasure shoots through my body.

i keep my eyes to my book.