the tank is... sad :( the tank is... glad!

well folks, today is the day. today our house in guelph closes. it is a day of mixed emotions.

i am sad to see it go. it was the first (and only) house we owned. we did a lot of work on it. we really made it ours. in the five years that we were there it was host to friends living with us post-break up (on more than one occassion, break up with your partner that you're living with? well, just move in with john and meg!), my mum and her husband living with us pre-france, many fabulous dinner parties, many many evenings on the deck - drinking beer (in my case cider, in NOAU's case wine), laughing loudly, talking about sex loud enough and often enough that we wondered just what the neighbour's thought. it also saw a lot of communal help from many wonderful friends, help building the garden, help building the deck, help re-doing the floor, help tearing down a wall, help painting, and in the end, help decluttering and getting it ready to show, and then finally, help packing.

the house holds a lot of memories for me.

and let's not forget that i've lived in guelph for the last 19 years. guelph is a wonderful amazing town. it has so much to offer, a great rep theatre, a cheapy theatre, amazing restaurants that are pretty cheap, a vibrant arts scene, great pubs, all in a relatively small area. and then of course there is all the suburbish stuff too, which i still got to benefit from, but still got to live in a 100 year old house in a nice old area with lots of trees. it's rare to get that combination.

and of course my friends. i have friends in guelph who i will miss. i know guelph isn't far, and it's not like i'm never going to see them again, but it's still too far to just call them up and say "what are you doing right now? meet you at such and such a place in 15 minutes". and in truth, you can't do that in toronto either, unless such and such a place is somewhere close to you. i'm sure i'll find such places, in fact, i suspect that hair of the dog isn't much more than a 15 or 20 minute walk away from where i live...

which brings me to the glad part of my post.

first and foremost, i'm glad it's done. i'm glad the house is sold, i'm glad that i don't have to worry about anything going wrong, or, i don't know what, but there is a relief that it is over. it's a step away from limbo. i do have a hard time with the fact that the new place is still in chaos, still doesn't look like a home, no pictures on the wall, half unpacked (we're having issues with how much smaller it is and where the hell do we put our stuff, then we get discouraged and don't do anything, so the house is hell right now) but that will come in time. hopefully sooner rather than later.

also, it is a bit of a begining of a new adventure. i have lots of friends in toronto who i will now hopefully get to see more often.

i will have more access to the things i love like art and theatre.

i have a good job that i enjoy and i don't have to commute to it.

i don't have to commute to work.

did i mention i don't have to commute to my job?

things will come together. i know they will. but if i was being honest, i'd have to admit that i'm more sad than glad right now...