friends

so, i have this friend who i've been friends with for probably, geeze, maybe it's only been 4 years... that seems much shorter than it's been, but i think it has been. maybe 5.

we hit it off right away. we met at work. both disenchanted with the whole corporate life and, well, i don't know, really it all started because he asked me if i'd read memoirs of a geisha, which at the time (and possibly still) was my favourite book ever in the world. i felt an immediate bond...

he lives in toronto and for the most part of our friendship, except for when we worked in the same office building, we see each other on a rather sporadic basis. we went for a bit where we were seeing each other every couple weeks, but i don't think that lasted longer than 6 months. he's one of these perpetually busy people. works late at work, does lots of volunteer work, spends lots of time with family, it all kind of leaves not a ton of time for friends. especially friends who are an hour drive away, so there is less room for the spontaneously saying "hey, lets get together in 10 minutes for a pint" kind of thing.

so, you may be wondering where this is going... well, here's the thing. Y is a really wonderful guy. he's someone i love dearly and with all my heart. he's someone that i have offered our spare bedroom to on a semi-permanent basis and who i think i would actually really love to live with.

but he's also someone who i talk to infrequently at best, and see even less. so sometimes he's a bit 'out of sight, out of mind'. that's not entirely true, i think about him a fair bit, but the more time we spend apart the easier it is to spend time apart. but the thing is, as soon as i talk to him it all floods back in. as soon as i talk to him i really really want to hang out. i really want to just sit and talk for hours. i really want to have him as a regular part of my life, see him a couple times a week, just have him more solidly in my life. i experienced this today when i called him at work. i didn't call for any reason, just hadn't talked to him in a long time and was missing him. here's the thing, as soon as i started talking to him i started aching to hang out with him. i think maybe this is why i don't like to talk on the phone so much anymore.

i have the same issue with other friends too. for instance, kate and dalai who you've seen post responses on this blog, both of whom i ache to have more in my life on a regular basis. of course, they both live in montreal. the result is that i email them, i messenger with kate, but i don't talk to them on the phone much.

i'm feeling like my friends are far flung. the people i love are in france, NYC, malaysia, montreal, toronto (which granted isn't that far flung, and in truth, lots of the people i love dearly are there), hamilton (also not far flung) and so on.

yeah, i guess there isn't much point to this post, just that i had somehow managed to suppress how much i adore having Y in my life, and today i went and phoned him, and now i'm aching for his company, but i know i won't get to see him for eons.

i have an idea, P, L, Y, C, M, D, dalai, kate -- i think you should all move to guelph. or, better yet, lets pool our resources and buy a mansion in the south of france and move there...